we began with the sweetest of apologies
for taking up a moment of my time as i was walking past
you just had to ask
what my ethnic make up consisted of
” ’cause love, i think i’m the same as you”
and i’d never met a man with game like you so when you called
5 minutes after you got the digits
i knew then and there that i would let you hit it
i just had to assess you first.
and the worst part is that i was so smitten i fell for a kitten
when it was a lion i was after
so then was your turn to apologize
for getting my ring size so wrong
i had to wear the symbol of my betrothal
around my vocal cords.
(i also forgave you for getting yeellow gold
cause you know
i hate how it shows on my finger)
but these were trifling regrets that linger on your behalf
and in the aftermath of our disaster
they really don’t matter in the greater scope of it all.
What matters are your attempts at atonement
after you invited that HOE in my home
telling her how long i’d be gone with my friends
so she can sneak in the back door.
or when you sought vindication for
obtaining oral relations in the car
from that white chick up the block.
Is it true?
…do they all swallow?
Or how about the excuses
for a body full of bruises
i obtained in an effort to flea?
the one that needs to apologize
for letting him break your nose
stripping you of your prose
because scribing it down would have made it too real.
i know we made a deal
to just shut the fuck up
cause it was just as much us
but, you’re 4′ 11.
He’s 6 ‘ 2.
he never had the right to put his hands on you.
And i never had the right to make you stay.
What blinded me in that way
i couldn’t possibly tell you.
it’s not your fault he did those things
i’m sorry i made you believe that misconception
and tainted your perception of love.
but when i fell ‘in love”
i fell through the glass ceiling
sending shards through the very heart of me.
and there’s a part of me that knows
i owe you more than any prose
could EVER offer.
but i will rebuild, word upon word
promises to the self
because no one else
knows what we have endured
and so, for sure,
in the words of Polonius
‘to thine own self be true’
becuase the last person that should owe you an apology…