I have not been honest

I haven’t been honest.

Years 1-17. Because what happens in college, could get you arrested.

(a list of confessions)(abridged)

Ages 1 – 5

yes. geroldmie and i took the hot-dogs out of the fridge and ate them raw.

i spit on the carpet because it dried anyway.

faye, when you and deon were gone, i did, i did play your Mario game…in your room…on your bed…making a mess.

brace yourself: i told a girl on the playground to suck a dick. no, i didn’t know what it meant. no idea.

crackers: i used the word alot. i even had specific categories; i thought white people were saltines and hispanics ritz crackers.

i was scared to death of the lady next door to my grandmother, because she was big as a house, and said she could beat my daddy.

i made my barbies hunch.

Ages 6-12

my first story was about how good life was before my cousin Jessica was born…she was all cute… the heifer.

i pretended to be sick on all of the days gifted sessions didn’t get us out of geography. every. single. one.

i made my first, non-inhaling attempt to smoke a joint with Elizabeth, my skater buddy.

i kissed Ernesto, knowing full-well he was going out with Yomaira.

when my 4th Gifted teacher didn’t pick me to be Juliet in the play, i knew she was racist. and said so. no one knew that shit like i did.

every science project i ever did was fake.

Ages 14-17

i met a boy on blackplanet and called him my boyfriend, because he was black and korean and im’d me poems.

i learned that if i wrote the answers on my thighs and wore loose shorts, i could sit indian style in my desk and cheat. or if i wrote the answer on gum wrappers. or gum. (i keep an eye out for this stuff now)

i successfully smoked my first joint with Maria and Natalie at the biggest house i’d ever been in in my life. it was better than christmas.

i skipped, horrible, i know. but i never skipped my English class. ever. or psychology.

i got dumped repeatedly because i was a virgin and intended on staying that way until i met Juelz Santana. i’ve never met Juelz.

i went to prom with my cousin.


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