Poetry

APOLOGIES

9.14.2011

 

we began with the sweetest of apologies for taking up a moment of my time as i was walking past

you just had to ask

what my ethnic make up consisted of

’cause love, i think i’m the same as you”

and i’d never met a man with game like you so when you called

5 minutes after you got the digits

i knew then and there that iw oudl let you hit it

i just had to assess you first.

and the worst part is that i was so smitten i fell for a kitten

when it was a lion i was after 

…i digress…

so then was your turn to apologize

for getting my ring size so wrong

i had to wear the symbol of my betrothal

around my vocal cords.

(i also forgave you for getting yeellow gold

cause you know

i hate how it shows on my finger)

 

but these were trifling regrets that linger on your behalf

and in the aftermath of our disaster

they really don’t matter in the greater scope of it all.

 

No.

 

What matters are your attempts at atonement

after you invited that HOE in my home

telling her how long i’d be gone with my friends

so she can sneak in the back door.

or when you sought vindication for

obtaining oral relations in the car

 from that white chick up the block.

Is it true?

do they all swallow?

Or how about the excuses

for a body full of bruises

i obtained in an effort to flea?

 

No.

the one that needs to apologize

 is me.

I’m sorry,

SELF

for letting him break your nose

stripping you of your prose

because scribing it down would have made it too real.

i know we made a deal

to just shut the fuck up

cause it was just as much us

 

but, you’re 4′ 11.

He’s 6 ‘ 2.

 

he never had the right to put his hands on you.

 

And i never had the right to make you stay.

 

 

 What blinded me in that way

i couldn’t possibly tell you.

it’s not your fault he did those things

i’m sorry i made you believe that misconception

and tainted your perception of love.

but when i fell ‘in love”

i fell through the glass ceiling

sending shards through the very heart of me.

and there’s a part of me that knows

i owe you more than any prose

could EVER offer.

but i will rebuild, word upon word

promises to the self

because no one else

knows what we have endured

and so, for sure,

in the words of Polonius

‘to thine own self be true’

becuase the last person that should owe you an apology…

…is you.

 

 

 

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FORGOTTEN

9.9.11

*this is an excerpt from a piece i’m working on*

“as i lay here, counting stars wondering where time went

i painfully wish for the days when my scent

free of oils and perfumes

was good enough for you

 

you see, i keep forgetting

as i fall into a desperate yearning for your touch

that i wasn’t enough.

MY touch, filled with every drop of love

i harboured for your soul

became too old

for you.”

 

 

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**khamsahmnida**

9.9.11

 

There exists and infinite amount of possibilities.

Realities that could’ve been and just never came to be,

but in this one, you came for me.

and i’m not talkin no

“white horse” shit here.

this ain’t no romantic poem

about some knight in shining armour coming for his fair maiden.

shit,

we ain’t even dating.

this is about a kindred soul

and how you showed me a clearer vision of myself than i ‘ve ever known

and i thank you humbly

for ignited a flame once thought lost to the night

and so,

 for you,

 i’ll write

because yesterday you were a stranger

and although i could hardly count you as more than that today

i really love the way

you motivate  me

during that late night excursion into each others mind

you reminded me that i

was something

D*I*V*I*N*E

i’d like to thank you for finding me in the rough

and thinking that was enough

to make me more EPIC than anything you had ever heard before

and i take it from you as truth cause you’re beautiful

souls like yours are the only reason God lets us go forth.

and i dunno how many people have been blessed to make your acquaintance

but your cadence is amazing

i’d give a penny for your thoughts and all i have for conversation

…i digress…

i simply wanna recognize the beauty of all you’re comprised of

and i say that since you’re giving me my voice

i have no choice

but to put your name down for eternity

“for behold, michael, the chief prince came to help me”

and ignited i’ll go forth

sheep amid the wolves

cause now, thanks to you

I’m ready.

 

 

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7.24.11

On Love…

I have fallen in love with you

And yes I say fallen because I didn’t mean to and

something about you got my head out the clouds and put my feet on the ground

from the first time that I seen you.

I dream you.

I don’t mean I have dreams and you manifest in them for a second as a figure with misty outlines.

I mean, you are the embodiment of all my dreams combined.

Tangible, comprehensible.

And I knew from the moment we met

We were Osiris and isis

Returning to the flesh so that for once in a millennia we could feel

The brush of each others skin

‘cause to lay with you under the heavens

and not know where mine skin stops and yours begins

is a song unheard for ages

I knew we were odysseus and penelope

Sprung to life from pages

Long forgotten

This is no besotted

Two night stand trying to last a season

Infatuated for no reason

Chemically imbalanced attraction

This is simple subtraction

Me minus you

Equals an infinitesimal amount of nothing.

So for you I become Juliet,

As she’s the only one who can truly get

Our “By any means necessary”, love

Our “we have a springtime but we’ll make it through January”, love

Our “I’ll give up everything like Janie did for Teacake

Cause you so worth it

With your perfect

Self”,

Love

But I know you wouldn’t ask that

Of me.

Cause we don’t love selfishly.

We know our dreams are bigger than the both of us yet we stay holding us down

This is that “start-crossed”, love;

That, “you awaken my chakras

Open my third eye

So I don’t need you by my side every minute until I die”, love.

This isn’t a forever thing.

Forever couldn’t possibly hold what I have for you.

So if we separate like soloman and makeda

I’ll rule all of sheba

Just to make you proud of me.

And If we have to wait a lifetime like liang and zhu

To be together again,

I’ll wait them all just to fly with you.

Because

This is no “besotted

Two night stand trying to last a season

Infatuated for no reason

Chemically imbalanced attraction.

This,

 is,

 LOVE.

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6.25.11

I’d like to take this time to say:
I’m a poet
And that entitles me to three things
Pride, conviction and immortality.
Cause in reality
My mortal flesh will wither and fade
bUt all my days will extend with my hand taking this pen
And putting it to paper
Only to later
Be discovered by some alien species as they try to put the pieces
Of humanity back together.
And my words will resonate and resound
Just as profound as I bring them to you today.
Yes, I’m a cocky ass bitch,
but this is not conceit
no, this is belief
in me.
Because after they slept on me
I became the lady of their dreams.
While they attempted to rip me apart
The fates re-threaded my seams
And it seems
I have a new wind.
Like if Icarus just had one mo ‘gain.
And I’m good now.
I’m ready
Like the best surgeons I have steadied my hand
And I don’t give a damn if it takes all my life
To write a piece that will last forever.
I’ll never stop.
This is what makes me
It’s ballads that raised me
And sonnets that praised me
And hip hop and slams and ciphers that gave me
A voice
With which I’ll use purely for inspiration
For generations to come
You see, a revolutionary  task list is never done
and I might win some but I’ll never lose one
my poetry, was almost the chick that got away
but God decided to let me have a way
To reach the masses
And take their focus off of asses
And put it on shit like good classes
For the lowest classes.
See, poetry is a gift
Not to be take lightly.
I have faltered slightly
But now, I’m awake
Ready to take
Any hoard
The pen is mightier than the sword
So maramusa sit your ass to the side cause I got this.
And no all my rhymes may not be flawless but
Someday – maybe today or tomorrow
People will find my words in sorrow
And gain a peace of mind
And everyday that the sun shines
I will continue to live
And through me the most high will give
Wisdom, compassion and empathy.
So maybe those are the three things I am entitled to.
But whatever it is, all I know
Is a repeat of the fact
That I AM A POET

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One thought on “Poetry

  1. Apologies……
    Never apologize for what you’ve gone through, not even to yourself. We as people can only do so much when certain things are going down. Instead of an apology, make serious promises…..promise to remember your worth, promise to understand your value, promise to know that people who truly care for you will never cause you harm. And above all, promise to make it a hard lesson learned. Instead of an apology, give congratulations. Congratulate YOU for deciding it was time to begin letting go, and congratulate YOU for your courage and strength. (great things come in small packages…..even if they’re 4ft 11in)

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