You’re Not White.

to secure his pockets

he told you that you were in a race

so you started running

for a fictitious finish line

developed

by capitalistic

masterminds.

and centuries later,

you’re still running.

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Pretty

Blonde stepford mothers

keep me in the kitchen questioning my country

while daughters snigger

fuckin nigger

but no, the mother’s say she’s got to be part

jap, or chink, or malay

her eyes are so

pretty

sister so and so slices me a sliver of rum cake, spiced

and tugs my mane like it wont come off

this your grandbaby?

yank

well, her hair is so

pretty

my name on a foreign tongue

taste like the tango but truth be told it’s

just a jig

you just give it accents where my daddy ain’t see none.

yeah, i’ll repeat it for you.

and you say, it’s

pretty.

ajumah in her market

markedly assessing my make-up

genetic

happy for eomma

not too dark

so she deems me epudah

pretty

society is so ugly

Apologies

APOLOGIES

9.14.2011

we began with the sweetest of apologies

for taking up a moment of my time as i was walking past

you just had to ask

what my ethnic make up consisted of

” ’cause love, i think i’m the same as you”

and i’d never met a man with game like you so when you called

5 minutes after you got the digits

i knew then and there that i would let you hit it

i just had to assess you first.

and the worst part is that i was so smitten i fell for a kitten

when it was a lion i was after 

…i digress…

so then was your turn to apologize

for getting my ring size so wrong

i had to wear the symbol of my betrothal

around my vocal cords.

(i also forgave you for getting yeellow gold

cause you know

i hate how it shows on my finger)

 

but these were trifling regrets that linger on your behalf

and in the aftermath of our disaster

they really don’t matter in the greater scope of it all.

 

No.

What matters are your attempts at atonement

after you invited that HOE in my home

telling her how long i’d be gone with my friends

so she can sneak in the back door.

or when you sought vindication for

obtaining oral relations in the car

 from that white chick up the block.

Is it true?

do they all swallow?

Or how about the excuses

for a body full of bruises

i obtained in an effort to flea?

 

No.

 

the one that needs to apologize

 is me.

 

I’m sorry,

SELF

for letting him break your nose

stripping you of your prose

because scribing it down would have made it too real.

i know we made a deal

to just shut the fuck up

cause it was just as much us

but, you’re 4′ 11.

He’s 6 ‘ 2.

he never had the right to put his hands on you.

And i never had the right to make you stay.

 What blinded me in that way

i couldn’t possibly tell you.

it’s not your fault he did those things

i’m sorry i made you believe that misconception

and tainted your perception of love.

but when i fell ‘in love”

i fell through the glass ceiling

sending shards through the very heart of me.

and there’s a part of me that knows

i owe you more than any prose

could EVER offer.

but i will rebuild, word upon word

promises to the self

because no one else

knows what we have endured

and so, for sure,

in the words of Polonius

‘to thine own self be true’

becuase the last person that should owe you an apology…

…is you.

 

kahmsahmnida

**khamsahmnida**

 

There exists and infinite amount of possibilities.

Realities that could’ve been and just never came to be,

but in this one, you came for me.

and i’m not talkin no

“white horse” shit here.

this ain’t no romantic poem

about some knight in shining armour coming for his fair maiden.

shit,

we ain’t even dating.

this is about a kindred soul

and how you showed me a clearer vision of myself than i ‘ve ever known

and i thank you humbly

for ignited a flame once thought lost to the night

and so,

 for you,

 i’ll write

because yesterday you were a stranger

and although i could hardly count you as more than that today

i really love the way

you motivate  me

during that late night excursion into each others mind

you reminded me that i

was something

D*I*V*I*N*E

i’d like to thank you for finding me in the rough

and thinking that was enough

to make me more EPIC than anything you had ever heard before

and i take it from you as truth cause you’re beautiful

souls like yours are the only reason God lets us go forth.

and i dunno how many people have been blessed to make your acquaintance

but your cadence is amazing

i’d give a penny for your thoughts and all i have for conversation

…i digress…

i simply wanna recognize the beauty of all you’re comprised of

and i say that since you’re giving me my voice

i have no choice

but to put your name down for eternity

“for behold, michael, the chief prince came to help me”

and ignited i’ll go forth

sheep amid the wolves

cause now, thanks to you

I’m ready.